Joey Votto’s TikTok is the best thing on the internet right now

Joey Votto is one of the best first basemen in the history of the Cincinnati Reds, as well as one of the best TikTok stars in the world.

Joey Votto is a magician at first base and a magician in TikTok videos.

Not every hero wears a cape. Some people dress up like Ron Weasley during his sixth year at Hogwarts and use TikTok to create suggestive videos.

His latest post is 10 points for Gryffindor, despite the fact that he has 331 career home runs with the Cincinnati Reds! With more moves than Mick Jagger, this 38-year-old first baseman can disarm you faster than you can mutter Expelliarmus with a swish and flick.

This one belongs to the redheads, of course!

Joey Votto is a TikTok genius, but he doesn’t want the rest of the world to see him

While he plays first base like Ron Weasley did at keeper on the quidditch pitch, Votto is arguably more captivating while he’s in the dentist’s chair.

Even if Weasley’s potential in-laws were dentists, there isn’t enough novocaine in the world to make The Girl dizzy. With the deepest performance of “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls you will ever hear, Votto is the songbird of a generation.

@joeyvotto #duet with @maceahwindu ♬ original sound – Joshua Johnson

Votto had better walk to the plate every at-bat this season to the finest music Buffalo has ever made, with bass levels only rivaling a Crash Test Dummy. He may have been all “MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM”

Let’s speak the Queen City Joes into reality while JuJu Smith-Schuster deprives us all of the most anticipated TikTok duet of all time with Jackson Mahomes. Joey B. and Joey V. are putting on a show that will make Harambe proud. The only way this works is if Votto dresses up like Joe Burrow did when the Bengals won the AFC North and won the Super Bowl.

Votto is now in the ninth inning of his major league career. Other folks become depressed when they are going to hang up the spikes. For a long time, baseball has been Votto’s calling card.

While he may never get an owl to tell him that he has been accepted into Hogwarts, he can keep working on his TikTok portfolio as a break from writing about baseball.

The only person who could portray Ron Weasley better than Votto is Rupert Grint, who is absolutely magnificent.